I can’t speak for other people. Actually I could, I could quote gender studies and academic theories about why this happens but eh, that’s not all that helpful. There’s studies on this, but they all come from the “WHY DO THOSE QUEERS DO THOSE STRANGE THINGS, SIGNED STRAIGHT PEOPLE” school, in my humble opinion. Part of me is like, well, we are already subverting the expected norms of our gender by actively trying to fuck each other, of course we also enjoy subverting other expectations, but that’s not it, at least not all of it.
I don’t know why I’m the most comfortable in a masculine presentation. I was never comfortable as a feminine teenager. I never “got” the whole femininity thing anymore than I got the whole being attracted to boys thing. The “energy” I’ve always had is a masculine one, maybe that’s part of the reason I desire feminine ladies. Who knows, honestly. Maybe I was exposed to too many power tools as a child.
As for it being degrading, masculinity is not male. I am not masculine because I believe that manhood is the pinnacle of existence, or that manhood is even a good thing. Not sure where you’re getting feminism as viewing masculine afab people as degrading, although sure, there are some people who think that masculine queers shouldn’t be masculine. That’s a super complicated issue though
This is the cutest thing
It doesn’t surprise me at all that even in the most fragile stages of masculinity (post-combat warriors admitting to emotional scarring) we still exalt military culture and its detritus before we’d even consider that rape survivors could be dealing with the same if not worse situation.
Because soldiers get to leave the fucking battlefield. They don’t have to spend the rest of their life in Afghanistan in active duty, but a rape survivor has to spend the rest of their fucking life knowing that a stranger or loved one or acquaintance is capable of doing this to them at any time without warning. That they often have to LIVE with their rapist or face their rapist in their social circle or their family or out on the street where they live. They never get to leave the war. The war is always fucking there and it loves to remind them how inescapable it is.
Today at work I heard a program where they were interviewing off-duty soldiers with PTSD and it was horrifying because I just kept thinking “I do the same things, I think the same things, I know everything they’re talking about because I live that or used to a few years ago.” So many of our internal behaviors and thought processes are the same and it was mind-blowing, the confirmation that so much of my anxiety and mental distress is full-blown PTSD, that anyone who thinks a rape survivor isn’t shell shocked by their trauma clearly isn’t listening to a damn thing survivors think and feel. And it makes me wish that the counseling I had received at first had been approached with PTSD in mind. I feel like the way survivors are treated, because we are simultaneously so common and yet so invisible, is to get over it as soon as possible or resign to the notion of being broken, scarred, and other misnomers. And that kills me, because I wonder if I would have been healthier and more committed to my healing if someone had treated me like a patient with PTSD.